Unintentional magick is still magick. Recently, I’ve had a few thoughts on some things, particularly about unintentionally cursing or performing magick just with the power of your mind, will, and emotions. This isn’t just theoretical for me—I’ve experienced it firsthand, and it’s actually one of the reasons I got into practicing magick in the first place. After a few concerning incidents, I decided it was something I needed to understand and control.
A teacher of mine, Lucky Lynx, is a Tibetan-Bon Buddhist, the same Buddhist lineage that inspired George Lucas when he created Star Wars and mainstreamed all that stuff about "the Force." Lucky has this amazing ability to distill complex spiritual teachings into practical advice, and one thing he told me really stuck: every thought you have is either an intention, blessing, or a curse. It’s an interesting concept, and honestly, it makes a lot of sense based on what I’ve experienced.
Lucky also explained that, sometimes, if your desire and thoughts are strong enough, a random spirit or entity close by might hear you and decide to act on your behalf—whether you realize it or not— resulting in a "deal" being made, which you must now fulfill. That's all the more reason to be mindful of ourselves.
I’ve been sitting with the former idea a lot, especially after a nightmare I had one night. I was back in the Black Hills of Sundance, Wyoming, which is where I lived for six years before escaping to Costa Rica with my child to keep us safe. In the dream, I was back in that small, suffocating, racist town. As I walked down Main Street, people were whispering with glee at the sight of me, "She’s back!" and next thing I knew, I was being arrested and was no longer able to protect my daughter from my abusive ex. It was such a weird, unsettling dream, but it got me thinking about that place again.
Sundance was never a welcoming place, especially if you didn’t grow up there or fit their mold. Hell, even if you’re white, if your ancestors didn’t come on a covered wagon in the 1800s, you’re an “outsider”—and yes, they literally use that word, outsider. I was one of the few outsiders there, and there were times that the town made sure I felt it. Recently, a friend told me the Black population there is now officially listed as 0.0%. I guess I was their 0.001%. Not only that, but since I left, the town’s population has dropped by half—from around 2,000 to under 1,000 people! Sundance is the seat of Crook County, so this level of population loss is devastating.
It’s tempting to think, Did I curse that place? I don’t know. Maybe it’s karma. Maybe it’s COVID. Maybe it’s just the natural consequences of residents keeping all of the creepy psychopaths there in power. But a part of me likes to think that I had a little something to do with it.
This isn’t the first time I’ve wondered about unintentional curses. I’ve had experiences in my 20s and 30s, where my anger or frustration seemed to trigger something beyond the ordinary. Like with my first husband—an older Italian man who had a penchant for being manipulative and passive-aggressive. I don’t even remember what he did that pissed me off so much, but I do remember stewing over it while at work. I was fuming. Then I suddenly felt the need to call him, and the first thing he said when he answered was, "Honey, I can’t talk right now. I just sliced the side of my hand wide open and I’m headed to the hospital." Blood was literally pumping from his hand to the rythm of his heartbeat, an artery was cut. In all his years of working in construction, he never sustained such a serious injury. Coincidence? I don't think so. I knew deep down it had something to do with my storm of hateful thoughts right before it happened.
And then there’s my godmother, an older white lady with blonde, baby doll fine hair who was like a mother to me. She was there for me in ways my biological mom wasn’t. But as our friendship devolved, she became controlling and mean, and towards the end, I started to see her true colors. One time, after I had went out of my way to drive over two hours to pick her up from the city and take her out to the country side to cheer her up after being in a mental slump, she complained about the strange smell in my car. It was an old McDonald’s bag I forgot about in the backseat—nothing to get worked up over. I immediately pulled over to the nearest street bin and got rid of it then opened all the windows. But she wouldn’t let it go and continued to complain about the smell througout our trip. I was hurt because I felt unappreciated and more than that - I was pissed!
For a week, I stewed in my anger, thinking over and over again about her complaints about the smell of my car. I didn’t even speak to her. Then out of the blue, she called to ask me to pick her up from the hospital. She had a heavy nosebleed that came on suddenly, and kept flowing and wouldn’t stop. She was rushed to the ER and the doctors ended up having to cauterize the inside of her nose. They couldn’t figure out what caused her nosebleed or why it wouldn’t stop. I just knew I had something to do with it, nor was it a coincidence that it was her nose that had burst open.
But here’s the up side—this power of the mind isn’t just about curses or negative energy. It works the other way too. I think back to when I was a realtor for my father's brokerage, and I wasn’t making any sales for an embarrassingly long time. I was new to the profession and wasn't getting the training and support I needed from my stern father. No one in the office was taking me seriously. One day, I got so frustrated with myself that I screamed out loud, ranting while driving down the highway in my car, "Why am I not getting any sales?! I spent so much time and money for my license! I want my hard work to pay off!" It was cathartic and I felt at peace afterwards. The very next day, I landed a serious client and earned my first commission! Shortly after that, I left my father's brokerage and moved on to a bigger one that provided the support and training I needed. My sales steadily increased after that.
So, was it the universe responding to my frustration? Was it some entity deciding to throw me a bone? No one can claim to know for sure. I’ve learned to be a lot more mindful of my negative thoughts and emotions, or at least, I try to be. It's still a process for me. Now, I truly understand the meaning behind Jesus' words when He said anyone angry at his brother is a murderer. Your anger can really do that shit!
Now, back to Sundance. Could that town’s decline be the result of some subconscious curse I cast? Or is it just natural consequences for a corrupt, close-minded, and hateful place? Maybe it’s both... two things can be true at the same time. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel a little satisfaction at the thought that I might’ve played a role.
So, what do you think? Is it all just manifestation and the universe shifting to meet our emotions? Or is there something more at play—spirits, entities, energy, whatever? I’m very curious to hear your thoughts.
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